Okay, so, our engagement party is over, Great Western is over, I think it's time to actually start doing wedding-related shit. Here beginneth the brain dump:
Venue/Decor
I think the Firefly-light theme is going to work really well with the venue. The hall has nice high ceilings and a very cool semi-rustic feel to it, including a projector on one of the narrow walls which we can run pictures on. We were talking about doing a slide deck of Firefly-esque stills, screenshots, and general stock photography to sort of up the mood.
I still want to do the frosted glass centerpieces from Offbeat Bride, but I'm thinking either mason jars or going to the Ventura thrift stores and picking up cool looking (hopefully clear) vases. I don't think colored vases will work as well in the space, which is mostly grey, cream, dark grey stone colors, and this nice warm buttery paint.
Fuck flowers. Nate's allergic to 9/10ths of them anyway, and why would I want to spend a bunch of money on something that'll just die in a week or so? I don't really see the point of carrying anything down the aisle, although I will if I find something that appeals to me--it might even be a bouquet, who knows? I just don't want the entire hall bedecked in something that's going to have Nate running for Claritin and which we won't be able to take home and enjoy afterwards.
Music-wise, I'm thinking iPod DJ is the way to go. The venue has a built-in sound system with a dock for an iPod; we'll just need to compile some playlists and get someone to run it on the day of. We're thinking of hiring one of our unemployed friends to coordinate the day of, and he can run the playlists and/or MC the whole post-ceremony shebang. We're going to put a song requests section on the wedding website and coordinate with some of our friends who have iPod DJ'd their weddings for tips and tricks.
Clothes
Still in the works, obviously. The more I look at wedding dresses, the less they look like my thing--I still definitely want to shop around a lot more, but it's really hard for me to get inspired by any of the things I see online. The answer might be a custom job by a local seamstress or to start shopping the fancy-pants section of department stores when the spring and summer dresses start coming out. I just want something more personal and interesting than a Big White Dress, and extra bonus points for something I could wear again. A hot contender is getting a custom corset from Starkers! and having Kathryn (aforementioned local seamstress) make me a skirt and/or overdress to work with it. That would be awesome, and I could wear all the aspects of the outfit again later.
Nate's getting Kathryn to make him a kickass jacket and such which will be fancy, but also Firefly-y. That should be awesome. And he has a bowler hat, so what could possibly go wrong?
We're not going to make the wedding party match. It just seems cruel and unusual--our parties range all over the map in body types and we're both having mixed-sex parties, so fuck, it's not like they're going to match anyway. Thus far the best idea we've had is to have Nate's side in one color and mine in another color, but lighter. Another option would be to ask everyone to wear dark blue or purple or something and give them matching things to carry--parasols for the ladies, something more manly for the gents.
Food/Booze
Good Lord, we haven't started looking seriously at this yet. I'm kind of terrified of this part of the process, because venue, photography, and food are going to be our big big big expenditures, and food may well cost more than the other two.
We're thinking we'll go the afternoon/evening wedding with tapas and cocktails and everyone can go out to dinner afterward if they're hungry--which I doubt they will be, we left Ben and Erika's tapaful wedding stuffed... although part of that was the gallons of delicious homebrew. Personally, I really like the idea of getting to go out to dinner after the wedding in all our fancy-pants, either just me and Nate or with our families and the wedding party.
Booze-wise, the venue requires that the booze be served by a licensed bartender, but other than that they're pretty flexible. Costco handles and signature cocktails FTW! I can also use my BevMo membership to get half-off wine at their 5-cent wine sale, which will hopefully allow us to buy a bunch of fairly good wine for not a bunch of money. :)
STDs/Invites
Yeah, those are "Save the Dates" for those of you who aren't planning a wedding. We need to send them, which means we'll need to compile addresses, which means we'll need spreadsheets! Everyone loves spreadsheets!
We haven't decided on styles for STDs or invites yet, but I'd love to do magnet STDs--who doesn't love a magnet? Anyway, I doubt this will be a terribly time-intensive part of the whole process--the only question will be, which is more expensive? Using a template STD from Vistaprint ($60-80) or doing it myself (unknown cost)? At the very least, once the invites go out we can do RSVPs on the wedding site, which will save postage and paper and force people to visit the site. Mwahahahaha.
Ceremony
We need to sit down with Mo and start talking about this for realz. I know she already has some ideas about stuff, and I have a rough framework I'd like to follow (not in this particular order--I think I want the rings to happen after the vows, but that's minutia. Moving right along!):
Venue/Decor
I think the Firefly-light theme is going to work really well with the venue. The hall has nice high ceilings and a very cool semi-rustic feel to it, including a projector on one of the narrow walls which we can run pictures on. We were talking about doing a slide deck of Firefly-esque stills, screenshots, and general stock photography to sort of up the mood.
I still want to do the frosted glass centerpieces from Offbeat Bride, but I'm thinking either mason jars or going to the Ventura thrift stores and picking up cool looking (hopefully clear) vases. I don't think colored vases will work as well in the space, which is mostly grey, cream, dark grey stone colors, and this nice warm buttery paint.
Fuck flowers. Nate's allergic to 9/10ths of them anyway, and why would I want to spend a bunch of money on something that'll just die in a week or so? I don't really see the point of carrying anything down the aisle, although I will if I find something that appeals to me--it might even be a bouquet, who knows? I just don't want the entire hall bedecked in something that's going to have Nate running for Claritin and which we won't be able to take home and enjoy afterwards.
Music-wise, I'm thinking iPod DJ is the way to go. The venue has a built-in sound system with a dock for an iPod; we'll just need to compile some playlists and get someone to run it on the day of. We're thinking of hiring one of our unemployed friends to coordinate the day of, and he can run the playlists and/or MC the whole post-ceremony shebang. We're going to put a song requests section on the wedding website and coordinate with some of our friends who have iPod DJ'd their weddings for tips and tricks.
Clothes
Still in the works, obviously. The more I look at wedding dresses, the less they look like my thing--I still definitely want to shop around a lot more, but it's really hard for me to get inspired by any of the things I see online. The answer might be a custom job by a local seamstress or to start shopping the fancy-pants section of department stores when the spring and summer dresses start coming out. I just want something more personal and interesting than a Big White Dress, and extra bonus points for something I could wear again. A hot contender is getting a custom corset from Starkers! and having Kathryn (aforementioned local seamstress) make me a skirt and/or overdress to work with it. That would be awesome, and I could wear all the aspects of the outfit again later.
Nate's getting Kathryn to make him a kickass jacket and such which will be fancy, but also Firefly-y. That should be awesome. And he has a bowler hat, so what could possibly go wrong?
We're not going to make the wedding party match. It just seems cruel and unusual--our parties range all over the map in body types and we're both having mixed-sex parties, so fuck, it's not like they're going to match anyway. Thus far the best idea we've had is to have Nate's side in one color and mine in another color, but lighter. Another option would be to ask everyone to wear dark blue or purple or something and give them matching things to carry--parasols for the ladies, something more manly for the gents.
Food/Booze
Good Lord, we haven't started looking seriously at this yet. I'm kind of terrified of this part of the process, because venue, photography, and food are going to be our big big big expenditures, and food may well cost more than the other two.
We're thinking we'll go the afternoon/evening wedding with tapas and cocktails and everyone can go out to dinner afterward if they're hungry--which I doubt they will be, we left Ben and Erika's tapaful wedding stuffed... although part of that was the gallons of delicious homebrew. Personally, I really like the idea of getting to go out to dinner after the wedding in all our fancy-pants, either just me and Nate or with our families and the wedding party.
Booze-wise, the venue requires that the booze be served by a licensed bartender, but other than that they're pretty flexible. Costco handles and signature cocktails FTW! I can also use my BevMo membership to get half-off wine at their 5-cent wine sale, which will hopefully allow us to buy a bunch of fairly good wine for not a bunch of money. :)
STDs/Invites
Yeah, those are "Save the Dates" for those of you who aren't planning a wedding. We need to send them, which means we'll need to compile addresses, which means we'll need spreadsheets! Everyone loves spreadsheets!
We haven't decided on styles for STDs or invites yet, but I'd love to do magnet STDs--who doesn't love a magnet? Anyway, I doubt this will be a terribly time-intensive part of the whole process--the only question will be, which is more expensive? Using a template STD from Vistaprint ($60-80) or doing it myself (unknown cost)? At the very least, once the invites go out we can do RSVPs on the wedding site, which will save postage and paper and force people to visit the site. Mwahahahaha.
Ceremony
We need to sit down with Mo and start talking about this for realz. I know she already has some ideas about stuff, and I have a rough framework I'd like to follow (not in this particular order--I think I want the rings to happen after the vows, but that's minutia. Moving right along!):
- Ceremonial walk-in thing, with Ben singing me/us down the aisle.
- Opening talks, possibly a reading or two, although not at the same time. Hopefully some discussion about getting married on the autumn equinox as representative of balance and equality, etc. etc. Overt reference in favor of marriage equality via the reading of an excerpt from the MA court case which legalized same-sex marriage.
- Unity cocktail with detail on symbolism of various ingredients, handfasting, exchange of rings.
- Vows.
- Signing of ketubah/marriage certificate w/ witnesses? Would that be boring for everyone watching? Do I particularly care?
- Kiss, glass breaking, yichud. I had a great idea this morning that if we built a chuppah with fabric walls which could be rolled up and affixed to the top frame, we could drop the walls after and have the yichud right there, and that would save us from having to find a nice private place in downtown Ventura.
Anyway, the ceremony is absolutely the most important part of the wedding for me (as it should be, right?), so I'm going to want to spend a lot of time hand-crafting that bitch. I want laughter, tears, spiritual significance, and BOOZE.
Okay, I think that's everything I can think of now. At some point I should make up a logistical timeline for when payments and such are due, but not right now. Now is for the happy fun daydreaming part, nitty-gritty realism can come later.
Yay, happy fun daydreaming! It's the best part. : )
ReplyDeleteRe licensed bartender: your caterer might be able to provide the bartender and still let you provide the booze (that's what we did). Plus, confirmation: The BevMo 5cent sale was definitely awesome for wine purchase.
We also went out to late night dinner after the reception, partly because I didn't eat all that much during the reception and hence was *starving*. Mostly, it was a ton of fun to sit around a pool table noshing on bar food in our wedding gear.